Isa.. Dalawa.. Tatlo.. Apat.. Lima?

Natutuwa talaga ko sa Customer Voice Survey ng Starbucks. I don’t know if this Customer Voice Survey is random at kung talagang madalas siya lumalabas. In my case kasi, nakakaapat na ko. At sana may sumunod pa. Hahaha. Masarap ang bawal libre. They’re so generous. Sana sa susunod upgraded size or complete meal na. O kaya date with you favorite Starbucks barista, wahahaha. Thank you Starbucks. =] 

Indulgence at Calea!

My Bacolod experience would not be complete without my visit at Calea. I was captivated by their cakes. Kung  pwede nga lang tikman lahat titikman ko na. Kaso kulang budget. I even forgot to drop by at Starbucks Bacolod because of the magic taste of Calea cakes. Wala tuloy ako pics dun kasi I'm taking pictures of stores featured in 2010 Starbucks Planner. Sulit ang Calea cakes. Double thumbs up!

At may bonus pa. Haha. Marami din pa lang man-made dessert ang pumupunta dito. Busog na tiyan, busog pa ang mata haha. =]

Pengeng Kalaro.

As I was browsing Hay! Men. blogspot, natagpuan ko ‘tong nakakagigil na larawan na ‘to. As in. Hahaha. Parang normal lang ata sa kanila ang nakatopless. Napako tuloy mata ko sa dalawa sa right side. Cute. Like ko pa naman ang malaman. I wonder kung ano nilalaro nila. Mukang nakaka-aaahh.. base sa facial expression nila. Sana maging kalaro ko din sila. Walong halong malisya. Pero pwede din naming meron. Lolz. =]

Paraphilias

I really don’t know what this word means. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), paraphilias are recurrent, intense, sexually-arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors generally involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner, or children or other non-consenting persons. Upon reading the definition, sa pagkakaintindi ko, guilty ako diyan. Am I the only one? Nope. Sigurado ako, meron pang iba. 

Voyeurism and Exhibitionism are common. Both voyeurism and exhibitionism are considered paraphilias. Minsan hindi lang natin alam na ‘yun na ‘yon. Most of us have a little voyeur or exhibitionist in us. In my case mukhang hindi siya little. Pero how can we know when is little and when is much? Hindi ko din alam. Gut feel na lang siguro. I don’t know how to categorize what paraphilia or paraphilias I am in to but I guess it falls mostly to voyeurism and exhibitionism.

Capturing photos or recording intimate moments. Taking naked or sexy pictures. Feeling hornier when I know someone is watching me making out or even just the thought of it. And the weirdest of all, being aroused by watching good loking guys suffer in a bloody and gory manner. May insecurity yata ako sa kanila haha.

Ilan lang yan sa mga gawain I feel good about. Wala naman akong nasasaktan or natatapakan. But for the conservative ones at sa mga nagmamalinis, ito daw ay imoral. Minsan napapaisip din ako kung nasaan ba talaga ang hangganan ng pagiging moral at imoral. Ang boundary ng kabutihan at ng kasalanan. Tingin ko wala din naman tunay na nakaaalam. Kalimitan ay base sa libro lamang na kung tutuusin ay tao lang din naman ang may katha.

I don’t believe a hundred percent in the bible but that don’t necessarily mean I don’t’ believe in God. Of course I do. And I know na mas malawak ang pangintindi ng Diyos kaysa sa libro na nalilimitahan lamang ng tinta at papel. Ito ay opinyon ko lamang.

Back to paraphilias bago pag may umusbong na kung ano..

If paraphilias are considered to be a disorder hindi naman siguro tama na isiping ito’y kasalan. People should help those people who are no longer in control of such disorder or at least try to broaden their thinking para sila maintindihan instead na mahusgahan. Hindi natin alam kung ano ang istorya nila bago sila nagkaganyan. Don’t judge quickly. Respect differences. Try putting yourself in their shoes. Malay mo, mag-enjoy ka din. =]

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Right now, I don't know whom to go. When I received those text massages hindi ko alam why I'm still affected. Di ko alam sa tanginang nararamdaman ko kung bakit ganito. Prior to this, my life is happy. Then after, I asked myself, am I really happy? I don't know kung hang-over lang tlaga to ng nakaraan. Mahigit ng 4 na taon 'tong hang-over na to. Fuck. Pero iba ang drama ngayon. Marami nang involve. At lahat sila malapit sa akin. Sad thing, seems like I am always the casualty.

The Characters:

A - My first. My ex. The heartbreaker. The one who got the keys that drove me crazy. Ang nakipagbalikan na 'di pa nakakabalik ay kusa nang lumisan.

B - A close friend. Kasama ko sa kalokohan. The one who fucked the one I like na after mangyari 'yon ay parang wala lang. I have forgiven him but don't expect I'll forget it. Okay kami na parang wala lang ding nangyari. His partner na parang break sila ata as of this time ay friend ni A.

C - My present. Looking forward to be my last. We're in good terms naman and I know we have mutual feelings for each other. Leaving for Saudi one of these days.

The Scenario:

C & I are in relationship for almost 5 months. Alam ko naman na masaya kami sa isa't-isa. I just don't get it na sa bawat kibot ni A, apektado ko. Today A texted me. May pagkaseryoso. A said that he likes B. A LOT. Cupid strikes again. Not with his arrow this time but with his bazooka. Tagus-tagusan. I don't know why cupid is so mean to me. Knowing B, baka matuluyan 'yung ayokong mangyari. Honestly I have prepared myself if ever na magkaroon uli si A. Pero of all the people, si B pa. I don't know kung matutuwa ba ko at maiinis at maiiyak.

Wooaaahh. Is it normal that I'm still affected? Paano ba hindi maapektuhan? I just want to focus right now to C. I really do.. SOS.  ='( 

The Croco Liners

Monday. Start of long week work again. As usual I need to rise up early 'cause for sure buses going to Ortigas are like wheeled rectangular can of sardines again. But I won't be talking about it. This is about the Croco Liners. Croco Liners because mga buwaya sila sa pasahero!! Normally my trip from Proj.7 to Kamayan (before Ortigas flyover) takes about 45mins. Unfortunately if I happen to ride on these Croco Liners, my travel would be like a provincial trip 'cause my travel time would take me about minimum of 1hr. Croco Liners stop at any places where they can see a potential prey. Normally when we are at the intersection or junction, we are waiting for the green light. For Croco Liners, red light is their favorite. Oftentimes when they see the green light, they will slow slow slow down until the light changes to red. Grrrrr.. Their favorite lair is Farmer's Cubao. They will hibernate here for about 15 minutes. Sometimes they will let other buses to overtake them. I can't see the logic to that. Amp.

Good thing this morning even if I have ridden one of these Croco Liners hindi naman nasira ang araw ko. When things go wrong, think positively. So what I did -- Aura mode. Hahahaha. Fortunately there was this guy who stood just infront of me. Tisoy, a bit chub, makinis at nakashades. =] When I saw him, nawala ang inis ko. I just secretly stared at him while singing "when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change" hahaha. He's relaxing. I attempted to take a picture of him but I failed. I'm not good in taking stolen shots. Puro upuan 'yung nakuhanan ko hehe. Before I end this post, I searched for a picture of a tisoy guy with shades in order for this post to be interesting. Isn't he cute? I didn't notice when I posted the picture, it's Gerald Anderson pala. =] 

Chocolate Magic

As I grabbed the jar f Hershey's Kisses yesterday on our fridge my mom noticed me and said, "Huwag ka masyado magkakain ng chocolates, nakakabakla daw yan.." At that moment the instant reply my mind came up was "Huwag kang mag-alala 'di na ko maapektuhan niyan". But I paused and hold back saying that statement because they might really get what I really mean. Instead I just smiled. =]

Out of my curiosity, I googled up an article or writing related to that and this is what i found..

* Eating chocolates won't make you gay. While some people associate it with femininity, it has nothing to do with being gay. Many straight men eat chocolate, and many straight men eat when they are depressed. Based on statistics the group of people who eat the largest amount of chocolate are teenage boys, and young men.

* Eating chocolate does not mean you are gay and a large percentage of males and females enjoy chocolate (related to comfort food.) From scientific studies chocolate can affect levels of brain chemicals called endocannabinoids that are related to THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. These endocannabinoids have a calming effect on brain functions in many ways. While scientists are not 100% sure of effects of chocolate on the brain chocolate does make people feel better.

* If you smear chocolate all over a guy, and lick it off, only then is it a sign that you're gay lolz.

So that means chocolates won't make a guy gay. In a different sense eating chocolates when depressed makes someone feel better.. or happy.. and being happy is gay. =]

Whether it is true or not, it doesn't matter to me. I just realized that if my mom is really confident about my sexuality she won't be affected by what she knew about that chocolate thing. At least it somehow gave her an idea about me and when time comes, hope it will come out easy..

The Boogeyman Prince

I really dunno how will I start this blog. I'm not gifted with writing skill. I am a lousy story teller. It just popped in my mind that I want a blog. A blog that will serve an outlet of my being, a blog where I can be myself. *Don't worry I'll try to make it interesting as I can. =]*

I made this blog with my identity hidden. Why not show myself to the real world? Well, its not that easy. The world is harsh. No need to elaborate. By the way, I'm a closet prince.

Closets are for clothes. And for boogeyman. Well for me, it's a temporary home. Temporary because I'm not planning to live my life inside the closet forever. I just need to build walls within me for now. Living inside the closet somewhat gives me protection.. It may look like a small rectangular box, where you can't move at ease and feel suffocated but I'm getting used to it. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic. =]

Uhm.. I'm running out of words now.. I think this is enough for an introduction. I think I really need to attend a journal writing class haha. =]